The benefits of moving beyond blaming

Margaret, fresh out of engineering school, became a supervisor in an auto plant. Most of her direct reports were old enough to be her parents. She was smart enough to know that she needed their expertise. She made it clear that they knew more than her and that she appreciated their input. One employee was a recluse who refused to interact with anyone, including her. He did his job, and everyone left him alone. 

If we feel rejected by someone, it's easy to resort to blaming and avoidance. Margaret didn’t do either. 

She began by saying “Good morning.” to him each day. For several weeks he ignored her, but she persisted, refusing to take it personally.  He eventually began to say “Good morning.” to her.  

After a few months she was able to ask him questions and get a response. After about six months they were talking daily and she found that he was a wealth of knowledge. 

Eventually she involved him in problem solving discussions with other employees. She consulted with him and with others consistently before making decisions.  Her maturity allowed her to persist in the face of rejection, and to build a mutually rewarding relationship. The outcome was a department where people functioned as adults working as a team.

Beyond Blaming, by William Frank Diedrich at http://noblaming.com
Available in ebook at both Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook.