Most workplace relationships appear to be transactional in nature. This means that we operate on a reward and punishment basis. If you do what I want you to do, I reward you. If you don't do what I want, I punish you.
Transactional relationships are mostly parent-child interactions. The manager asks: "How come that job isn't done." The staff member defends: "I had too much to do." This is not how real adults interact.
An adult interaction would be more like this: Manager asks: "Have you completed that job I asked you to do?"
Staff member responds: "Not yet. I have several things going here."
Manager responds: "Let's look at what you have and prioritize. I really need that job done by 3 pm."
Staff member responds: "I can do it if I set everything else aside." And so on.
This is an adult interaction.
There are no victims in an adult conversation. Two people negotiate the outcome that is best for all concerned.
William Frank Diedrich, author of the book -- Adults at Work: How Individuals and Organizations Can Grow Up. http://adults-at -work.com New workshop offering: For Adults Only -- See the website.
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