Friday, July 27, 2012

The Myth of "working it out"

Blaming someone from your past, parent, child, lover, husband, wife, is just another way of clinging to that person. It becomes partly how you define yourself. You then define yourself as a victim, as powerless, as somewhat self-righteous.

The myth is that you need to see a therapist to "work it out". A good therapist will help you become aware of what you are doing to yourself; see what you need to do;  and help you envision the possibilities that await you on the other side.

If working it out means reliving it and thinking about it repetitively and yelling and ...  then you are strengthening the hold your blame has on you. You are wallowing in your bullshit.

Make the decision to let it go. Decide to live. Decide what you really want and spend your energy moving toward it. When your blaming shows up in your mind, think about something else. Stop feeding it. Feed your dreams instead.

 William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming
http://noblaming.com

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