Self blame will not redeem you. Compassion will redeem. Self blame is a focus on the past. Focus on who you want to be now. Self blame becomes blaming toward others, because we project our guilt. We must learn to quiet the critical voice in our minds and practice self acceptance.
Set your goals, but tell yourself that you are acceptable whether you achieve the goal or not. The achievement of a goal does not validate you, although the reinforcement is nice. Your achievement reflects the self validation you already have.
For example, losing weight does not make you acceptable. If you tie weight loss to self esteem, you will have a much more difficult time. It is easier to lose weight if you are already acceptable.
From Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations
http://noblaming.com
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