Judge or discern?

Judgment: The act of condemning or  criticizing someone from a position of assumed moral superiority.

Discernment: Distinguishing between. Perceiving.

Blaming comes from judgment. It leads to pain and suffering. Judgment is cruel. You have felt this cruelty when you have been judged by others.

Discernment is necessary. We discern between people and experiences to determine what we want and don't want. We discern between wisdom and foolishness when people speak or write their opinions. Wisdom and foolishness have little or nothing to do with whether or not the person agrees with you. 

Rather than challenge someone who disagrees with you, ask them how they came to their conclusions. Listen without judgment. Discern whether there is any truth in what they say. 
William Frank Diedrich, author, speaker
http://adults-at-work.com