The dynamic of conflict is collusion. In collusion, I need for you to be wrong, bad, or evil. Your "badness" justifies my attitude and behavior. Once I make you "bad" you are no longer a person to me, but an object.
When I begin to see you in terms of your needs and ascribe importance to your concerns, you become a real person to me. We move from collusion to collaboration. We seek a mutually beneficial outcome.
This is true in any conflict whether between family members, co-workers, political partisans, or countries.
William Frank Diedrich, from Beyond Blaming,
http://noblaming.com
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