In relationships there is no blame. You are in the relationship by choice. The other person is not supposed to meet your needs. When you express your needs as expectations, as have-to's, or as demands, you trap the other person in your web. When you express your needs as requests, as an invitation to help you, the other person is free to choose. Is it okay with you if the other person can't meet all your needs on some days? Is it okay that some days you would feel unable to meet someone's needs?
Each is the owner of his/her needs. My partner does not own my needs. In an adult relationship there are no victims, no blaming, because each of us is unconditionally accountable for our own well-being. We contribute to each other's well-being because we want to, not because we have to.
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