begin with you

What does it mean to move beyond blaming?
It means that you maintain care and respect for the other person, and yourself.
It means that you don't define others by their behaviors. People are not their behavior.
It doesn't mean that you are nice when someone behaves poorly. It doesn't mean that you ignore what has happened.

You move beyond blaming when you hold yourself accountable first. Begin with you. Have you made boundaries clear? Have done your part ? How have you contributed to what happened?

Whether you are complimenting someone, or offering corrective feedback, you remember that you are talking to a real person. That is, don't turn someone into an object. Be honest, yet be kind. To move beyond blaming is to move beyond being a victim. Don't be a victim. You have choices and that gives you power.

Beyond Blaming,  William Frank Diedrich
http://noblaming.com