I received a video today from Dan Mulhern about research that says successful marriages and successful teams in the workplace communicate five positive statements to each other for every one critical or blaming statement. Researchers can predict the viability of marriages based on this alone.
(See link at end of article.)
We tend to be mostly critical in our communications and I believe it is because we are mostly critical in our heads. We criticize ourselves and we criticize others. What if we controlled our thinking so that we carried at least 5 times as many affirmative, positive, and praising thoughts in our minds for every one critical or blaming thought?
It really depends on what you notice doesn't it? Look at yourself and what do you notice -- what's wrong with you or what's positive and valuable about you? Emotions are the body's response to thoughts. How do you feel? Think about what you are thinking about, and know why.
If you want to make relationships better, or work, or your own success -- focus your attention on strengths, accomplishments, and the vision that you are moving toward. Build on what you have rather than criticizing what you don't. Focus on the strengths in another person, rather than their weaknesses.
I don't know about you but I had a tough time yesterday and I needed this message. I spent too much time focusing on what wasn't working. My thoughts were critical and I felt angry/depressed/sad. I made a decision yesterday to be more disciplined in my thinking and to make my thoughts life affirming both toward myself and toward others. I feel good today! I moved beyond blaming.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming,
http://noblaming.com
Dan Mulhern's short video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q2tqSmmmiU&feature=youtu.be&utm_source=Are+You+Too+Critical%253F+Research+Says+-+Probably&utm_campaign=Which+Habit+Matters+Most+-+Covey&utm_medium=email
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