You affect everyone you meet. There are people you may blame for their actions toward you, or lack of attention toward you. What is your effect on them?
Do they feel safe around you? Do they feel your strength, or do you come across as weak? Do they feel a positive and affirming attitude from you, or are they the recipient of your blaming and complaining. If the latter, how does that make them feel?
It's easy to blame others for how we feel, yet completely miss the way we influence others to feel. Do you smile around others? Do you tend to have a serious look? Your look has an effect.
Are you being yourself around others. If not, then who are you being and what effect does that have on both you and others. The world does not revolve around you. You are a center of influence, and your thoughts and behavior have a ripple effect.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming,
http://noblaming.com
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
5 to 1 makes you successful
I received a video today from Dan Mulhern about research that says successful marriages and successful teams in the workplace communicate five positive statements to each other for every one critical or blaming statement. Researchers can predict the viability of marriages based on this alone.
(See link at end of article.)
We tend to be mostly critical in our communications and I believe it is because we are mostly critical in our heads. We criticize ourselves and we criticize others. What if we controlled our thinking so that we carried at least 5 times as many affirmative, positive, and praising thoughts in our minds for every one critical or blaming thought?
It really depends on what you notice doesn't it? Look at yourself and what do you notice -- what's wrong with you or what's positive and valuable about you? Emotions are the body's response to thoughts. How do you feel? Think about what you are thinking about, and know why.
If you want to make relationships better, or work, or your own success -- focus your attention on strengths, accomplishments, and the vision that you are moving toward. Build on what you have rather than criticizing what you don't. Focus on the strengths in another person, rather than their weaknesses.
I don't know about you but I had a tough time yesterday and I needed this message. I spent too much time focusing on what wasn't working. My thoughts were critical and I felt angry/depressed/sad. I made a decision yesterday to be more disciplined in my thinking and to make my thoughts life affirming both toward myself and toward others. I feel good today! I moved beyond blaming.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming,
http://noblaming.com
Dan Mulhern's short video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q2tqSmmmiU&feature=youtu.be&utm_source=Are+You+Too+Critical%253F+Research+Says+-+Probably&utm_campaign=Which+Habit+Matters+Most+-+Covey&utm_medium=email
(See link at end of article.)
We tend to be mostly critical in our communications and I believe it is because we are mostly critical in our heads. We criticize ourselves and we criticize others. What if we controlled our thinking so that we carried at least 5 times as many affirmative, positive, and praising thoughts in our minds for every one critical or blaming thought?
It really depends on what you notice doesn't it? Look at yourself and what do you notice -- what's wrong with you or what's positive and valuable about you? Emotions are the body's response to thoughts. How do you feel? Think about what you are thinking about, and know why.
If you want to make relationships better, or work, or your own success -- focus your attention on strengths, accomplishments, and the vision that you are moving toward. Build on what you have rather than criticizing what you don't. Focus on the strengths in another person, rather than their weaknesses.
I don't know about you but I had a tough time yesterday and I needed this message. I spent too much time focusing on what wasn't working. My thoughts were critical and I felt angry/depressed/sad. I made a decision yesterday to be more disciplined in my thinking and to make my thoughts life affirming both toward myself and toward others. I feel good today! I moved beyond blaming.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming,
http://noblaming.com
Dan Mulhern's short video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Q2tqSmmmiU&feature=youtu.be&utm_source=Are+You+Too+Critical%253F+Research+Says+-+Probably&utm_campaign=Which+Habit+Matters+Most+-+Covey&utm_medium=email
Friday, July 27, 2012
The Myth of "working it out"
Blaming someone from your past, parent, child, lover, husband, wife, is just another way of clinging to that person. It becomes partly how you define yourself. You then define yourself as a victim, as powerless, as somewhat self-righteous.
The myth is that you need to see a therapist to "work it out". A good therapist will help you become aware of what you are doing to yourself; see what you need to do; and help you envision the possibilities that await you on the other side.
If working it out means reliving it and thinking about it repetitively and yelling and ... then you are strengthening the hold your blame has on you. You are wallowing in your bullshit.
Make the decision to let it go. Decide to live. Decide what you really want and spend your energy moving toward it. When your blaming shows up in your mind, think about something else. Stop feeding it. Feed your dreams instead.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming
http://noblaming.com
The myth is that you need to see a therapist to "work it out". A good therapist will help you become aware of what you are doing to yourself; see what you need to do; and help you envision the possibilities that await you on the other side.
If working it out means reliving it and thinking about it repetitively and yelling and ... then you are strengthening the hold your blame has on you. You are wallowing in your bullshit.
Make the decision to let it go. Decide to live. Decide what you really want and spend your energy moving toward it. When your blaming shows up in your mind, think about something else. Stop feeding it. Feed your dreams instead.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming
http://noblaming.com
Thursday, July 26, 2012
begin with you
What does it mean to move beyond blaming?
It means that you maintain care and respect for the other person, and yourself.
It means that you don't define others by their behaviors. People are not their behavior.
It doesn't mean that you are nice when someone behaves poorly. It doesn't mean that you ignore what has happened.
You move beyond blaming when you hold yourself accountable first. Begin with you. Have you made boundaries clear? Have done your part ? How have you contributed to what happened?
Whether you are complimenting someone, or offering corrective feedback, you remember that you are talking to a real person. That is, don't turn someone into an object. Be honest, yet be kind. To move beyond blaming is to move beyond being a victim. Don't be a victim. You have choices and that gives you power.
Beyond Blaming, William Frank Diedrich
http://noblaming.com
It means that you maintain care and respect for the other person, and yourself.
It means that you don't define others by their behaviors. People are not their behavior.
It doesn't mean that you are nice when someone behaves poorly. It doesn't mean that you ignore what has happened.
You move beyond blaming when you hold yourself accountable first. Begin with you. Have you made boundaries clear? Have done your part ? How have you contributed to what happened?
Whether you are complimenting someone, or offering corrective feedback, you remember that you are talking to a real person. That is, don't turn someone into an object. Be honest, yet be kind. To move beyond blaming is to move beyond being a victim. Don't be a victim. You have choices and that gives you power.
Beyond Blaming, William Frank Diedrich
http://noblaming.com
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Beyond Blaming-beyond guilt
To move beyond blaming is to move beyond guilt. Guilt is the source of blaming. When we blame others we project our guilt on them. When we blame ourselves we wallow in guilt.
Isn't there a better way? Is it necessary to carry guilt? It hurts. It gnaws at us. Does it serve us? If you feel bad enough, will it make someone else feel better?
Guilt is of the past. Blaming is about the past. What do you want now? Is guilt a part of that?
Guilt is a cruel master who feeds on your painful thoughts. Determine what you really want. When your guilty, blaming thoughts arise, stop. Think about what you want instead. Think about the person you want to be. Shift your thoughts toward your goal.
Beyond Blaming, by William Frank Diedrich
http://noblaming.com
Isn't there a better way? Is it necessary to carry guilt? It hurts. It gnaws at us. Does it serve us? If you feel bad enough, will it make someone else feel better?
Guilt is of the past. Blaming is about the past. What do you want now? Is guilt a part of that?
Guilt is a cruel master who feeds on your painful thoughts. Determine what you really want. When your guilty, blaming thoughts arise, stop. Think about what you want instead. Think about the person you want to be. Shift your thoughts toward your goal.
Beyond Blaming, by William Frank Diedrich
http://noblaming.com
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Freedom
History is unkind to those who blame. The past tortures and haunts them. Thoughts and emotions from past pain take up space in the present moment. And for what purpose? What is gained?
Blaming comes from the idea that someone's loss is your gain. If others feel bad enough, you'll feel good. If others lose, you'll win. In reality, blaming is a lose-lose game. You only win by letting it go.
What do you win? You win your freedom. You win greater well-being. You win personal power and choice. When you are blameless, you are free.
Beyond Blaming, by William Frank Diedrich
http://noblaming.com
Blaming comes from the idea that someone's loss is your gain. If others feel bad enough, you'll feel good. If others lose, you'll win. In reality, blaming is a lose-lose game. You only win by letting it go.
What do you win? You win your freedom. You win greater well-being. You win personal power and choice. When you are blameless, you are free.
Beyond Blaming, by William Frank Diedrich
http://noblaming.com
Monday, July 23, 2012
Magnet for success
Blaming is a focus on what you don't want. This focus has you seeing problems but not solutions. It creates negative emotion and prevents you from seeing potential solutions and opportunities. A focus on blaming makes you a magnet for more suffering.
To move beyond blaming, focus on what you do want. Envision something new. A focus on what you do want has you seeing potential solutions and opportunities. It creates positive emotion. A focus on your vision along with action on your part makes you a magnet for success.
Beyond Blaming, by William Frank Diedrich
http://noblaming.com
To move beyond blaming, focus on what you do want. Envision something new. A focus on what you do want has you seeing potential solutions and opportunities. It creates positive emotion. A focus on your vision along with action on your part makes you a magnet for success.
Beyond Blaming, by William Frank Diedrich
http://noblaming.com
Friday, July 20, 2012
Willingness and will to act
Today I met with two men who were able to set aside their blaming, take responsibility for their actions, and listen to each other. In the absence of blaming they were able to agree on what they needed to do to move forward.
They accomplished this by careful listening and by talking to, rather than at, each other. Their common goal was to resolve their issues and move ahead. They accomplished their goal.
The result was an easing of tensions, greater understanding between them, and re-establishment of communication. In the long term, their business will be better for it. The employees will see the difference, and their performance and morale will increase.
When we blame and complain toward a situation, usually there really is something wrong that needs to be addressed. What we fail to see is that blaming and complaining are problems of themselves. Blaming and complaining are downward spirals that lead to dead ends. The negative effects create collateral damage to everyone in the group. When we move beyond blaming and complaining we solve one problem, and we are then free to solve another.
It begins with your willingness, and then your will to succeed. Both these men were willing and demonstrated strong wills. You can do the same.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming at
http://noblaming.com
They accomplished this by careful listening and by talking to, rather than at, each other. Their common goal was to resolve their issues and move ahead. They accomplished their goal.
The result was an easing of tensions, greater understanding between them, and re-establishment of communication. In the long term, their business will be better for it. The employees will see the difference, and their performance and morale will increase.
When we blame and complain toward a situation, usually there really is something wrong that needs to be addressed. What we fail to see is that blaming and complaining are problems of themselves. Blaming and complaining are downward spirals that lead to dead ends. The negative effects create collateral damage to everyone in the group. When we move beyond blaming and complaining we solve one problem, and we are then free to solve another.
It begins with your willingness, and then your will to succeed. Both these men were willing and demonstrated strong wills. You can do the same.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming at
http://noblaming.com
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Tell the Kind truth
Blaming is circular. You put it out there, and it comes back to you. Conflict involves collusion. When you are convinced someone is bad, evil, inconsiderate, selfish, etc., you need for that person to act in those ways. That way your blaming is justified. The conflict continues because you are in it together.
Blaming is a story you tell yourself. Who are you when you tell that story? What if you dropped the story? Who would you be then? Do you really need the story? Does it serve you?
Without our stories of blame we begin to see others differently. This is not to ignore poor behavior. Don't blame poor behavior; deal with it. You learn to deal with it effectively when you learn to stop being offended. Take nothing personally.
Tell the kind truth. There is no need for blaming or collusion. Tell the straight-forward, kind truth with the intent of being helpful. Listen and be empathetic, but there is no excuse for continued bad behavior.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming
at http://noblaming.com
Blaming is a story you tell yourself. Who are you when you tell that story? What if you dropped the story? Who would you be then? Do you really need the story? Does it serve you?
Without our stories of blame we begin to see others differently. This is not to ignore poor behavior. Don't blame poor behavior; deal with it. You learn to deal with it effectively when you learn to stop being offended. Take nothing personally.
Tell the kind truth. There is no need for blaming or collusion. Tell the straight-forward, kind truth with the intent of being helpful. Listen and be empathetic, but there is no excuse for continued bad behavior.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming
at http://noblaming.com
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Being an Adult
We all know that it's important to take responsibility and not to blame. This is called being an adult. Yet, so often, we forget. Emotions take over and we find ourselves caught up in the drama.
When I am in the drama, I want to be right, and I want others to know how wrong they are. Emotionally, I don't want to step back and be honest with myself. I don't want to challenge the story I am telling myself.
I have to make myself do it. I have to remind myself that the promise of "being right" is a false promise. It is an unattainable goal in most cases. And if I see myself as the innocent person in a conflict, I have to remember that my story is a lie I tell myself.
It takes courage to self examine and a will strong enough to change the direction of your thoughts. The effort is worth it when you see the result. Moving beyond blaming makes your relationships better and you stronger. It diminishes stress and conflict in your life. It feels good to function as an adult.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming
http://noblaming.com
When I am in the drama, I want to be right, and I want others to know how wrong they are. Emotionally, I don't want to step back and be honest with myself. I don't want to challenge the story I am telling myself.
I have to make myself do it. I have to remind myself that the promise of "being right" is a false promise. It is an unattainable goal in most cases. And if I see myself as the innocent person in a conflict, I have to remember that my story is a lie I tell myself.
It takes courage to self examine and a will strong enough to change the direction of your thoughts. The effort is worth it when you see the result. Moving beyond blaming makes your relationships better and you stronger. It diminishes stress and conflict in your life. It feels good to function as an adult.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming
http://noblaming.com
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
from blame to joy
Is your life somebody's fault? Or, is it your creation? You were given both talents and constraints.
You were created with a purpose. What have you chosen to do with that?
As long as you are blaming other people, or blaming yourself, you are using your power to make yourself powerless. You are creating a game that you cannot win.
Refuse to blame and change the game. This is your life, not someone else's. You don't have to prove anything. Find out who you are and be that. Your life is a gift and everything that has occurred has contributed to your growth, to your beauty, and to your knowledge.
There comes a time when the life you have defined becomes too small for you. It's like too much clothing on a hot day. Throw off your unneeded clothing and let yourself breathe. Release your blaming and let yourself expand toward your joy. Your joy blesses the world.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming at
http://noblaming.com
You were created with a purpose. What have you chosen to do with that?
As long as you are blaming other people, or blaming yourself, you are using your power to make yourself powerless. You are creating a game that you cannot win.
Refuse to blame and change the game. This is your life, not someone else's. You don't have to prove anything. Find out who you are and be that. Your life is a gift and everything that has occurred has contributed to your growth, to your beauty, and to your knowledge.
There comes a time when the life you have defined becomes too small for you. It's like too much clothing on a hot day. Throw off your unneeded clothing and let yourself breathe. Release your blaming and let yourself expand toward your joy. Your joy blesses the world.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming at
http://noblaming.com
Monday, July 16, 2012
Beyond Self-Blame
Self blame will not redeem you. Compassion will redeem. Self blame is a focus on the past. Focus on who you want to be now. Self blame becomes blaming toward others, because we project our guilt. We must learn to quiet the critical voice in our minds and practice self acceptance.
Set your goals, but tell yourself that you are acceptable whether you achieve the goal or not. The achievement of a goal does not validate you, although the reinforcement is nice. Your achievement reflects the self validation you already have.
For example, losing weight does not make you acceptable. If you tie weight loss to self esteem, you will have a much more difficult time. It is easier to lose weight if you are already acceptable.
From Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations
http://noblaming.com
Set your goals, but tell yourself that you are acceptable whether you achieve the goal or not. The achievement of a goal does not validate you, although the reinforcement is nice. Your achievement reflects the self validation you already have.
For example, losing weight does not make you acceptable. If you tie weight loss to self esteem, you will have a much more difficult time. It is easier to lose weight if you are already acceptable.
From Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations
http://noblaming.com
Friday, July 13, 2012
Beyond Blaming
If you feel hurt, you may find yourself immersed in the pain. You will want the person you blame to be immersed in the pain, also.
To be healthy and free, it is important to feel the pain. Experience it. Let it move through you. In this you know you are alive. Then let it go.
People carry pain and blaming for years, and for what purpose? If you do this, then what is your intention? You may say, that's just how I feel. Or, I can't get past that. In reality you carry the pain because you want to. There is a payoff in being the victim of another's words or actions. It hurts, but it hurts so good! Is this what you really want? To hurt indefinitely? To be someone's victim for all time?
Or do you prefer freedom? No one makes you hurt except you. Choose to let it go. Be merciful to yourself. Aren't you worth it? Stop telling yourself the same story again and again. Move beyond blaming and take responsibility. Decide what is more important -- the stories of the past, or the possibilities of the present?
William Frank Diedrich, Author of Beyond Blaming
http://noblaming.com
To be healthy and free, it is important to feel the pain. Experience it. Let it move through you. In this you know you are alive. Then let it go.
People carry pain and blaming for years, and for what purpose? If you do this, then what is your intention? You may say, that's just how I feel. Or, I can't get past that. In reality you carry the pain because you want to. There is a payoff in being the victim of another's words or actions. It hurts, but it hurts so good! Is this what you really want? To hurt indefinitely? To be someone's victim for all time?
Or do you prefer freedom? No one makes you hurt except you. Choose to let it go. Be merciful to yourself. Aren't you worth it? Stop telling yourself the same story again and again. Move beyond blaming and take responsibility. Decide what is more important -- the stories of the past, or the possibilities of the present?
William Frank Diedrich, Author of Beyond Blaming
http://noblaming.com
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Be blameless
When you blame someone you hold them prisoner. You bind them to you in a way that causes pain. You set a goal that cannot be accomplished--that they would undo what they did; or that they would feel guilty for it; or that they would suffer in return.
The promise of blaming is that you can make someone feel bad enough to make you feel good. No matter how bad they feel, it's never enough.
You are the jailer and you hold the key. Release them -- parents, children, relatives, friends, co-workers, anyone who you believe has caused you harm.
Whenever you feel the constriction of anger and hurt, you condemn yourself along with the culprit. When you release them from blame, you release yourself. This does not mean you open yourself to more hurt. Set boundaries. Be clear about who you are. Take care of yourself.
It doesn't mean being nice. Be honest, yet kind. Be hard if you need to be, yet see the other as a real person. To release blame is simply to refuse to carry it with you. It is to choose freedom for yourself instead of bondage. It is the intention to live not as a victim, but as the powerful being you are meant to be. To be blameless is to be free.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming
at http://noblaming.com
The promise of blaming is that you can make someone feel bad enough to make you feel good. No matter how bad they feel, it's never enough.
You are the jailer and you hold the key. Release them -- parents, children, relatives, friends, co-workers, anyone who you believe has caused you harm.
Whenever you feel the constriction of anger and hurt, you condemn yourself along with the culprit. When you release them from blame, you release yourself. This does not mean you open yourself to more hurt. Set boundaries. Be clear about who you are. Take care of yourself.
It doesn't mean being nice. Be honest, yet kind. Be hard if you need to be, yet see the other as a real person. To release blame is simply to refuse to carry it with you. It is to choose freedom for yourself instead of bondage. It is the intention to live not as a victim, but as the powerful being you are meant to be. To be blameless is to be free.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Beyond Blaming
at http://noblaming.com
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Solution focus
Whenever you are in situations where you find yourself blaming or complaining, stop. Get clear on what you want. Focus your thinking on what you want to create, not on what you have already created. Take your focus off the problem and place it on the solution.
From: Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations, by William Frank Diedrich http://noblaming.com
From: Beyond Blaming: Unleashing Power and Passion in People and Organizations, by William Frank Diedrich http://noblaming.com
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
From Blaming to Confidence
Blame is an illusion. The world is your mirror, reflecting back to you your beliefs and assumptions about you in relation to other people, to work, to money, to life. You are responsible.
You choose your feelings by the thoughts you keep. You decide the role that you will play--victim, victor, peacemaker, leader, follower, rejected, rejector.
To blame is to project. To project is to abdicate responsibility for your own beliefs and assumptions. Own your world. Decide what you want you and your life to be like. Envision it and become it. Align your thinking and behavior with your vision.
Carry yourself with confidence into your vision. It doesn't matter what your critics say. It's your life.
Be who you are.
William Frank Diedrich, Beyond Blaming, http://noblaming.com
You choose your feelings by the thoughts you keep. You decide the role that you will play--victim, victor, peacemaker, leader, follower, rejected, rejector.
To blame is to project. To project is to abdicate responsibility for your own beliefs and assumptions. Own your world. Decide what you want you and your life to be like. Envision it and become it. Align your thinking and behavior with your vision.
Carry yourself with confidence into your vision. It doesn't matter what your critics say. It's your life.
Be who you are.
William Frank Diedrich, Beyond Blaming, http://noblaming.com
Monday, July 9, 2012
Blaming and elections
So much blaming in this year's election process! Consider this: refuse to read, watch, or listen to any expressions of blame. No more critical commentary. Don't engage in it either. Focus only on what each candidate envisions, and what she or he will do. Make your reasons completely about voting for rather than against.
In a room of over 200 people yesterday we were asked: How many of you are happy with the political system today? No one raised their hand. The system is broken. The game is rigged to lose. Don't play the game. When you engage in the flinging of negative verbage, you are playing the game.
Be a game changer. Focus on what you want. Ask candidates for their vision and how they plan to get there. Demand honesty, integrity, and a seeking for the highest good for all concerned.
William Frank Diedrich, beyond Blaming, http://noblaming.com
In a room of over 200 people yesterday we were asked: How many of you are happy with the political system today? No one raised their hand. The system is broken. The game is rigged to lose. Don't play the game. When you engage in the flinging of negative verbage, you are playing the game.
Be a game changer. Focus on what you want. Ask candidates for their vision and how they plan to get there. Demand honesty, integrity, and a seeking for the highest good for all concerned.
William Frank Diedrich, beyond Blaming, http://noblaming.com
Friday, July 6, 2012
The Story
For everyone you blame you have a story. In that story you are a victim. Or, you are the self righteous hero. The people you blame are not the reason you feel angry, hurt, guilty, self righteous, victimized. Your story provides the emotion.
Who would you be if you weren't telling yourself the story?
Free of the story, how much better would you feel? How much more joyful? Peaceful? Confident?
Effective? Powerful?
Your life is a story and you are the story teller. What is your story?
William Frank Diedrich is the author of Beyond Blaming.
http://noblaming.com
Who would you be if you weren't telling yourself the story?
Free of the story, how much better would you feel? How much more joyful? Peaceful? Confident?
Effective? Powerful?
Your life is a story and you are the story teller. What is your story?
William Frank Diedrich is the author of Beyond Blaming.
http://noblaming.com
Thursday, July 5, 2012
No Blame
There is no blame. It's not about blame. It's about vision and leadership. It is about behaving in ways that align with the vision and our values. It is about stepping outside of our small world need to be right and to have our way. It is transcending our little ego who fights to defend its self image, its political or religious agendas, its belief system--- and recognizing our interdependence. We all affect each other.
William Frank Diedrich, Beyond Blaming, http://noblaming.com
William Frank Diedrich, Beyond Blaming, http://noblaming.com
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Center of Influence
Blaming comes from a center of attention mindset. The focus is on what others are doing to you or what you believe they should be doing for you. In this frame, the universe revolves around you.
You are a center of influence. Everything you think, feel, say and do has a ripple effect. In every conflict you have had, it's not just about what you think the other person did. You had an impact.
When you recognize that you are a center of influence, you become more powerful and at the same time, more humble. You find that you actually can do something to heal the rifts in your relationships.
William Frank Diedrich, Author of Beyond Blaming at
http://noblaming.com
You are a center of influence. Everything you think, feel, say and do has a ripple effect. In every conflict you have had, it's not just about what you think the other person did. You had an impact.
When you recognize that you are a center of influence, you become more powerful and at the same time, more humble. You find that you actually can do something to heal the rifts in your relationships.
William Frank Diedrich, Author of Beyond Blaming at
http://noblaming.com
Monday, July 2, 2012
Responsibility
Responsibility is freedom and power. When you say "I am responsible" you acknowledge that you have choices and that you are committed to action. You may not know what you will do, but responsibility sets the stage from which you will act. You are able to respond.
Blaming is imprisonment and victimization. When you blame you say that you do not have choices and that you are unable to act. You set the stage from which you can play "poor me" and hope that someone else can save you. You are unable to respond.
Each moment of each day we choose between responsibility of blaming, between being victor or victim, or between living and just waiting to die.
William Frank Diedrich is the author of Beyond Blaming at http://noblaming.com
Blaming is imprisonment and victimization. When you blame you say that you do not have choices and that you are unable to act. You set the stage from which you can play "poor me" and hope that someone else can save you. You are unable to respond.
Each moment of each day we choose between responsibility of blaming, between being victor or victim, or between living and just waiting to die.
William Frank Diedrich is the author of Beyond Blaming at http://noblaming.com
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