An older couple were traveling and stopped at a restaurant along the way. When they had eaten, they resumed their travel. A little while later the woman said: "I left my glasses at the restaurant. We have to go back!"
Her husband grumbled and turned around at the next exit. Then he lectured her on being more responsible and taking care of her things, and how this cost them extra time, and again, being more responsible.
All the way back to the restaurant he reprimanded her.
They finally pulled onto the parking lot. As she was getting ready to leave the car he said:
"Oh, by the way, while you're in there, you may as well get my hat!"
William Frank Diedrich, author of
Beyond Blaming. http://noblaming.com
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
A Successful Life
Is your life successful?
If not, why not?
If so, why do you think so?
William Frank Diedrich is the author of Adults at Work: How Individuals and Organizations Can Grow Up found at http://adults-at-work.com
If not, why not?
If so, why do you think so?
William Frank Diedrich is the author of Adults at Work: How Individuals and Organizations Can Grow Up found at http://adults-at-work.com
Friday, April 4, 2014
Reclaiming your power
Here is why I say blaming is a distraction:
If you feel angry or stressed, or hurt, or anxious, you may blame someone or something. What is accomplished? Does it make the feelings go away? It often makes them worse. It distracts you from doing your work--from growing up.
Try this instead:
Dive into the feeling and experience it. Just sit with it, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.
Welcome it. Tell your fears: "Bring it!"
When you hit the peak of discomfort, tell yourself the truth:
"I created this experience." "This is my illusion." "It's not real."
Next reclaim your power, because you have given your power to someone or something, and now you need to reclaim it. Reclaim it and feel it. "I am reclaiming my power now!" "I'm taking it back."
If you are spiritual this is the time to call forth your Higher Power/ Higher Self and ask IT (He, She) to use you for a greater purpose in this situation.
Ask and it is given. Go forth in confidence and faith.
Beneath every fear, and every hurt, and every pocket of anger lies great power.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Adults at Work
http://adults-at-work.com
If you feel angry or stressed, or hurt, or anxious, you may blame someone or something. What is accomplished? Does it make the feelings go away? It often makes them worse. It distracts you from doing your work--from growing up.
Try this instead:
Dive into the feeling and experience it. Just sit with it, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.
Welcome it. Tell your fears: "Bring it!"
When you hit the peak of discomfort, tell yourself the truth:
"I created this experience." "This is my illusion." "It's not real."
Next reclaim your power, because you have given your power to someone or something, and now you need to reclaim it. Reclaim it and feel it. "I am reclaiming my power now!" "I'm taking it back."
If you are spiritual this is the time to call forth your Higher Power/ Higher Self and ask IT (He, She) to use you for a greater purpose in this situation.
Ask and it is given. Go forth in confidence and faith.
Beneath every fear, and every hurt, and every pocket of anger lies great power.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Adults at Work
http://adults-at-work.com
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Mistakes
We all make mistakes. It is inevitable. The only people who don't make mistakes are those who aren't doing anything.
The key to valuable mistake-making is not to invalidate yourself when you make the mistake. In other words, don't beat yourself up. Don't make the mistake "evidence" for your badness or unworthiness.
Learn from each mistake. That is what mistakes are for. The biggest mistake is self-condemnation for your mistakes.
Simply say this: "I made a mistake. This mistake is not who I am. Are there apologies or reparations to be made? What am I learning from this?"
Next take action to move onward.
William Frank Diedrich, Author of
Beyond Blaming.
http://noblaming.com
The key to valuable mistake-making is not to invalidate yourself when you make the mistake. In other words, don't beat yourself up. Don't make the mistake "evidence" for your badness or unworthiness.
Learn from each mistake. That is what mistakes are for. The biggest mistake is self-condemnation for your mistakes.
Simply say this: "I made a mistake. This mistake is not who I am. Are there apologies or reparations to be made? What am I learning from this?"
Next take action to move onward.
William Frank Diedrich, Author of
Beyond Blaming.
http://noblaming.com
Monday, February 10, 2014
Happy
Are you happy? Does your happiness depend on which things you have and whether or not certain people love you the way you want to be loved?
We blame people and situations for our unhappiness. If only this would happen, then I'd be happy. If it weren't for that person in my life, I'd be happy.
Happiness is a decision. Whatever happens today, I will respond in a way that leads to happiness. I can't wait one more day for happiness--I'm allowing it now!
How long will you wait? To be happy? To live? Happiness doesn't need a reason. It is enough that you intend it.
Be you. Be happy.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Adults at Work, and Beyond Blaming.
http://noblaming.com
We blame people and situations for our unhappiness. If only this would happen, then I'd be happy. If it weren't for that person in my life, I'd be happy.
Happiness is a decision. Whatever happens today, I will respond in a way that leads to happiness. I can't wait one more day for happiness--I'm allowing it now!
How long will you wait? To be happy? To live? Happiness doesn't need a reason. It is enough that you intend it.
Be you. Be happy.
William Frank Diedrich, author of Adults at Work, and Beyond Blaming.
http://noblaming.com
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Beyond Guilt
It is important to move beyond guilt.
Do something because you want, or because it is the right thing based on your intuition/wisdom--not because of guilt. Guilt will taint your action. Acting from guilt leads to resentment.
Guilt is a form of manipulation we use on each other and on ourselves.
The result is usually destructive.
Guilt is self-blaming, and it is a desire for punishment. If guilt is your constant companion, have you punished yourself enough?
Let it go, and live. You cannot feel guilty enough to make someone else feel better.
If you must redeem yourself, take action from a place of love and strength, and then move on.
William Frank Diedrich, author of
Beyond Blaming and Adults at Work.
http://noblaming.com
Do something because you want, or because it is the right thing based on your intuition/wisdom--not because of guilt. Guilt will taint your action. Acting from guilt leads to resentment.
Guilt is a form of manipulation we use on each other and on ourselves.
The result is usually destructive.
Guilt is self-blaming, and it is a desire for punishment. If guilt is your constant companion, have you punished yourself enough?
Let it go, and live. You cannot feel guilty enough to make someone else feel better.
If you must redeem yourself, take action from a place of love and strength, and then move on.
William Frank Diedrich, author of
Beyond Blaming and Adults at Work.
http://noblaming.com
Monday, January 13, 2014
Control
The myth of self-improvement is that if you think positive enough you can control your life. Just as a white water rafter cannot control the river, you cannot control life.
The rafter becomes skilled as a navigator and learns how best to respond to the river in whatever state s/he finds it. Each rapids and each wave present opportunities for joy and accomplishment. Even the best get thrown out of the raft on occasion. S/He doesn't blame the river. S/He points his/her feet downstream, going with the flow, and then gets back in the raft.
Through personal responsibility and managing your thinking, you become a skilled navigator and responsive to whatever happens. Events that occur are defined by your perception of them. Your ability to go with the flow, rather than resist it--rather than blame Life-- determines your experience.
Listen to your Inner Guidance and work to develop the faith that all is happening for your good. The Universe is your playground. Control the only thing that you can--your view of yourself and of life.
William Frank Diedrich,
author of Beyond Blaming and Adults at Work
http://noblaming.com
The rafter becomes skilled as a navigator and learns how best to respond to the river in whatever state s/he finds it. Each rapids and each wave present opportunities for joy and accomplishment. Even the best get thrown out of the raft on occasion. S/He doesn't blame the river. S/He points his/her feet downstream, going with the flow, and then gets back in the raft.
Through personal responsibility and managing your thinking, you become a skilled navigator and responsive to whatever happens. Events that occur are defined by your perception of them. Your ability to go with the flow, rather than resist it--rather than blame Life-- determines your experience.
Listen to your Inner Guidance and work to develop the faith that all is happening for your good. The Universe is your playground. Control the only thing that you can--your view of yourself and of life.
William Frank Diedrich,
author of Beyond Blaming and Adults at Work
http://noblaming.com
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