Emotional Intelligence

We all have emotions. I am often amazed at how many different emotions I experience in a day--anger, fear, joy, hopelessness, enthusiasm, appreciation, guilt, hope, confidence, bliss--all in the same day.

I am the experiencer of these emotions, but also the observer. As the observer I make decisions.
If I am in a state of hopelessness (depression) I cannot instantly turn it.  I observe it, feel it, accept it, experience it (Who am I being when I feel hopeless?).  I don't analyze it. I let it flow over me and through me-- like I'm standing on a sandbar in Lake Michigan and a big wave washes over me and knocks me down.  I get up. Same with anger or fear.  I am not afraid of my negative emotions. Why would I be afraid of what I have created?  I take responsibility for my experience.

I ask myself what I want.  Joy?  Peace?  Connection?  Then I head in that direction, cultivating the experience I desire.  I call forth my Higher Self (Spirit, ..)  to help me see things differently.

The intention to move through the negative and experience something positive is like turning the rudder on a ship. It takes a little while for the ship to actually turn.

My goal today is the experience of confidence and joy. The universe is my playground, and I want to enjoy it thoroughly. Negative experiences may occur, and I will move through them with a kind of awkward grace.  I am grateful for my emotions and for the intelligence to make friends with them.

William Frank Diedrich,
author of The Road Home, Beyond Blaming, and
Adults at Work.  Found at http://adults-at-work.com

Are you committed?

Years ago I went horseback riding with a friend. I had no riding experience but was assured by my friend who owned the horses that there was nothing to worry about. We saddled up, mounted, and headed down the trail. Suddenly my friend's horse became excited and took off at a gallup. My horse followed. I had signed on for a ride but did not expect a gallup. Fear took over and I had only one thought in my mind: "Get me off this horse." My wish was granted.

I fell off the horse and had the wind knocked out of me. Other than a sore back, I was unhurt. At first I blamed the horse for my experience, but I realized that my horse was just doing what horses do. Then I blamed my friend, who I thought should have had her horse under control. I realized that the problem was in me.

When I mounted that horse, I had a vision in mind. It was a vision of adventure and excitement. When the horse delivered I wanted out. I fell off the horse because I had forgotten why I signed up for the ride in the first place. My message to myself--"Get me off this horse!"--showed that I was not really committed to the ride. Had I clarified my commitment, I would have offered myself a different message, something like: "Hold on!" Had I held on, I may have experienced the ride of my life!

I allowed fear to dictate my actions rather than my vision. People get themselves into situations--a job, a relationship, an adventure--and then things get rough. If fear takes over, you may forget why you signed up in the first place. You are accountable. Commitment means to learn and do whatever it takes to succeed. It is to create a vision or a goal, and then align your thinking and your behavior with the direction you have chosen.

What do you want?

Excerpted from  Adults at Work, by 

William Frank Diedrich

available at 

http://adults-at-work.com

Appearances

When I was a young teacher I taught a sixth grade Science class. One boy came in each day and sat on the floor under a table, while all the other students sat at desks.  Probably, today he would be diagnosed as autistic or something similar.  I let him be. I saw no reason to force him to sit at a desk. He didn't take notes and did not ask questions or participate in discussion.  He wouldn't make eye contact but he would say hello and good-bye when I addressed him each day.

After a few weeks of that Science unit I gave a test. He scored 97%, highest in the class.

As humans we make lots of assumptions based on appearances. This causes us to think that we understand someone or that we know what is best for them.  We don't.  I don't know what happened to that boy, but I suspect he taught me more than I taught him.

William Frank Diedrich, author of
Adults at Work, and Beyond Blaming,
available at http://noblaming.com

Moving through Fear and Depression

Sometimes it seems like fear or depression or some negative emotion is out of your control. It seeps in and doesn't want to leave. The typical response is to escape--watch TV, eat, medicate yourself--and those strategies are at best, temporary, and at worst, addictive.

Try this instead. Find a quiet space and a quiet time and dive in. Dive into the negative and just experience it. Don't analyze, because you can't think your way out of it.

Face your demons and know that fear is not something you need be afraid of.  Feel it. Welcome it. Let it run its course. This morning I dove in. I experienced the discomfort--I danced with it--and now I feel lighter, stronger, ready to play this day.

Do not judge yourself. What you feel is not wrong or right--it just is.

When you are ready to let it go, then let it go. Move forward into your day with confidence and the strength you have already proven that you own.  Call forth your "Higher Power" and ask for the wisdom and the vision to see yourself as you truly are. You are beautiful. You are made in the image of Love.

William Frank Diedrich, author of
The Road Home,
Beyond Blaming, and
Adults at Work.
http://adults-at-work.com

Judgment and perception

Judgment creates perception. We each see what we want to see.

If I think a leader is incompetent, no matter what s/he does, I will see incompetence.
If I think a leader is great, no matter what s/he does, I will see greatness.

My perception confirms my judgment. I present it as fact, yet it is not.

We do not see another as long as we are caught by our own judgments. We see only the image we have constructed of another. Our perceptions of others are self-fulfilling prophesies we believe as real.

In order to see clearly,  judgment must be set aside. Give it up! Don't believe what you think of someone else because it probably isn't true.  See them with new eyes. Call forth that which is highest and best in you (Higher Self, Spirit, etc.) and intend that you will see someone exactly as they are.

William Frank Diedrich, author of
Beyond Blaming and Adults at Work.
http://adults-at-work.com

Reference: ACIM

Feel it to heal it

As we resist, we suffer. We mistakenly believe that we can rid ourselves of painful experiences by attacking and defeating them. This only makes them stronger. The way to resolve our negative emotions is to accept and to  feel them. 

From Adults at Work, by William Frank Diedrich

http://noblaming.com