Much of our blaming comes from a lack of self-acceptance. We feel badly and we see others as having caused it. The cause is always in our own minds. Other people, especially those who treat us poorly, are our teachers.
Instead of becoming self righteously insulted, we can look within ourselves. "Why does this person's actions bring about so much anger or pain in me? What am I telling myself?
We allow others to mistreat us when we don't value ourselves. If we valued ourselves it would be completely natural to establish healthy boundaries, and to tell someone "No." or "Stop." It could become natural to be un-offended at bad behavior and see the person behind the behavior. We might ask: "Are you okay? You seem so not yourself today."
Someone's misbehavior seems to create pain in you. You follow your pain inward to its source -- your negative beliefs about yourself. You learn how your beliefs have caused you pain. You say "Thank you" to your teacher. Without that pain, you would not have had the opportunity to heal the belief.
William Frank Diedrich, author of
Beyond Blaming at
http://intelligentspirit.com/catalog.html
Ebook available at both Amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook
Type in "Beyond Blaming"
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