Responsiveness to Now

Responsiveness to the present moment has us asking: “What is happening right now, and what do I need to do about it? What do I want to see happen, and how can I influence it?"

If you deny or resist what is happening in your life, you may choose to hope rather than act. You hope that something or someone will save you. Hope in this sense, gets in the way of action. By focusing your attention on something outside of you that does not yet exist, you paralyze yourself. Better than hope is expectation. Expect to succeed, and even though you don’t know the future, respond to the moment. Listen to your Inner Voice and take action toward your goal. 

from Adults at Work, by William Frank Diedrich

Available at http://adults-at-work.com

Growing Up

Most of our ideas about ourselves and the world were created when we were small, defenseless, and somewhat powerless. As children we depended upon adults for most of our well-being. Some of us were fighters and learned that being aggressive often brought us what we wanted. Others found that being submissive, if it didn’t bring us what we wanted, at the very least, it afforded us a measure of safety. We learned to manage as small beings in a world run by big people. 

As adults we are no longer small people living in a world run by big people. Despite this, most of us feel a sense of smallness and resort to either submitting to the “big” people (those whom we see as having authority) or rebelling against them. Both submissiveness and rebellion are child-like reactions.

When we grow up, it is up to us to create a healthy identity. Growing up is about learning to manage identities and emotions. It is a sorting out process where we determine which identities and which beliefs we hold are helpful and which are not. If you do not take the time to sort things out for yourself, you will continue to operate as a child.

     As an adult, tendencies toward submission or rebellion are temporary, lasting until that moment when we remember that we are adults.

Adapted from Adults at Work

http://adults-at-work.com

Kindness

People who are hurt, hurt people. So be kind to yourself, and extend that kindness to others.
The tendency to blame only perpetuates the hurt. Still tell the truth, but tell the kind truth.

http://noblaming.com

No More Self Blaming

Many of us carry strange ideas about ourselves. We see ourselves as worthless, unlovable, unattractive, guilty, or as failures. These are not facts, but judgments. They exist only in our minds. The emotions sparked by these ideas are only emotions, not truths about you.

We let these self-blaming ideas go by experiencing them without resisting, yet knowing they are only experiences, not who we are. Next, we choose to become valued, lovable, attractive, or successful, by feeling that idea fully. Sit or stand up straight. Breathe deeply. Smile. Play the role. Make it real. Take your vision into your life by utilizing your body in these positive ways.

You are made in the image of God (Creative Intelligence, Source) however you perceive God to be.
You have a body and a life over which you have great influence.

William Frank Diedrich
Author of Beyond Blaming,
http://noblaming.com

Osteen Headlines

Recent headlines stated that Pastor Joel Osteen had quit his church and left Christianity, saying he had lost his faith. The headlines were fake as someone went to a lot of trouble to post websites and tweets and make people think they came from Osteen.

What was interesting was the reactions that I read across the internet. I was amazed at the number of Osteen critics and haters who despised him. At the same time there were those who practically worship him and felt they couldn't go on without his leadership--those whose own faith would fall apart if they thought Joel lost his. 

Personally, I like him. He is a gifted speaker with a positive message. I don't agree with everything he says, and that is no reason to criticize him. The few times I have seen him on the television he has been articulate and somewhat humble. I have never heard him ask me to place my hands on the TV screen while he prays for me and then expect me to send a check to close the deal. I have seen other preachers do that. I don't care if he makes a millions of dollars, lives in a big house, and has a beautiful wife. That's not my business. As far as I can see, those who spend their money on Joel Osteen do so out of choice.  The problem is not Joel Osteen, but the way that we humans tend to perceive public figures. We worship them. We place them on a pedestal, or we bitterly criticize them for their perceived sins. We adore them and want to bask in their energy. 

I have not heard Joel say: "Come to me and I will save you,"  I have heard him offer advice on being positive and being grateful and then expecting you to do your own work. But that's the problem isn't it? We love our speakers, leaders, actors, musicians, politicians, and other people in the news and we try live vicariously through them--or we try to make ourselves feel superior by blaming them. Either way, we make Joel Osteen responsible for our well-being. Either way we avoid looking at ourselves and doing our own work. 

To those of you who adore Joel Osteen and to those of you who hate him, I have one piece of advice: Get a life! To those of you who benefit from his message but take responsibility for yourself, and to those of you who aren't into the Osteen message (and who don't put anyone else on a pedestal either), I'm not worried about you. You are grown up enough to recognize that you have to do your own work and you don't depend on some public figure for your faith, or your confidence, or your well-being.

When I first read the false headlines, I almost wanted them to be true. For a man of his stature to admit publicly his own crisis of faith, that takes courage. That is honest. That is something we can all learn from.

William Frank Diedrich

http://adults-at-work.com

http://noblaming.com